Looking after yourself
A break from caring, and who can step in
A break can be an hour or a fortnight, and the people who cover can be family, volunteers or paid help. Here is how to picture one, line up cover and hand over well.
The idea of a weekend away lasts a few seconds before the questions crowd in. Who would make your dad's lunch, who would he ring, and what if something happened while you were two hours away? This is practical information rather than medical advice, and you won't find a recommended amount of time off here: how long and how often is yours to decide.
Picture a break at any size
The NHS in England defines respite care as taking a break from caring while the person you care for is looked after by someone else, and describes a break as a chance to take time out to look after yourself. Carers UK gives examples: some people, it says, would benefit from an hour each week, a day here and there, or a week or two for a holiday. MedlinePlus Magazine, from the US National Institutes of Health, says respite care, short-term relief for the main caregiver, may also be an option, and that it can run from a few hours of help at home to a short stay in a care setting.
What we don’t claim here
We don’t tell you whether what you are feeling is serious, or where ordinary ends and something that needs attention begins. No authority sets that threshold, so we don’t imply one.
Who can weigh it: your own doctor, who knows you and your situation. Where to take it →
Look wider than one person for cover
The NHS in England says friends and family might move into your parent's home for a while, or could invite your parent to stay with them. The NHS also describes breaks ranging from a volunteer sitting with the person for a few hours to a short stay in a care home, and says the person could go to a day centre or have a paid carer visit at home. Carers UK adds night cover, where someone comes into the home so you can have a proper night's sleep.
What is available, and how it is arranged and paid for, differs by where your parent lives; those questions belong to Paying for care and How the care system works where you are. Where siblings could take a turn, Sharing the load with siblings and family covers how a family can share out the jobs, and Keeping your own life, work and relationships while you care looks at asking for help more broadly.
Write down what the person covering needs to know
Carers UK suggests giving whoever steps in all the information they need, including a list of contacts with the doctor's number, other professionals involved, and your own number in case of emergencies. The NHS suggests writing notes about the kind of care your parent needs and leaving them somewhere obvious, so that anyone stepping in at short notice can find them. Whoever covers will also need to know about your parent's medicines as their care team has set them out. For what to give and when, ask the care team or pharmacist how to pass their instructions on to whoever covers. It is also worth leaving whoever covers a link to How to reach urgent help, wherever you are.
Make a backup plan before you need one
Carers UK advises all carers to create an emergency plan for themselves and everyone they look after, and says having one in place can help ease your worries. Carers UK suggests such a plan can bring together your parent's contact details, who should be contacted in an emergency, their doctor and pharmacy, any care and support services they receive, where things such as their medicines are kept, and anything others need to be aware of. The NHS suggests thinking about who might step in for a few hours, perhaps a relative, friend or neighbour, if an accident or sudden illness of your own meant you could not get to your parent.
Guilt about taking a break
The Alzheimer Society of Nova Scotia says that taking time for yourself may bring some guilt. The Alzheimer Society of Nova Scotia also describes guilt feelings in general as completely normal, and something you are not alone in; Guilt, resentment and mixed feelings about caring for a parent looks at those feelings more widely. Family Caregiver Alliance, writing for carers who feel guilty about a break, says: you are not doing anything wrong.
Hand the care questions to the care team
Some of this isn't yours to settle by yourself. What your parent needs while you are away, and anything to do with their medicines, is worth bringing to their doctor or care team before you go. They are also sensible people to ask first about what kinds of cover exist where your parent lives.
When to ask a professional
This guide stops where a professional’s judgment starts. Bring what you’ve noticed, plainly, to your own doctor.
Sources
The outside sources this guide draws on.
Primary: Taken from the official source itself, and cited directly. Secondary: Established in recognised guidance, summarised here.
- PrimaryNHS (England), Carers' breaks and respite care, reviewed 2026
- SecondaryCarers UK, Taking a break, no date given
- SecondaryCarers UK, Creating a contingency plan, no date given
- SecondaryMedlinePlus Magazine, US National Institutes of Health, Caring for yourself while caring for others, 2024
- SecondaryAlzheimer Society of Nova Scotia (Canada), Managing caregiver guilt, 2021
- SecondaryFamily Caregiver Alliance (US), Respite Tips: Taking a Break From Giving Care to Someone in Need, no date given
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How we source
Carefulness, made visible.
Named, not counted
Each guide names its sources and tags each one Primary or Secondary. It never counts sources at you.
Holding back
Where a part isn’t confirmed, a guide runs shorter and says what is missing.
Naming the limit
Every guide names where its authority ends, and who to ask instead.