Knowing when the carers will come

Your sister says the carer comes in the mornings, early in the week. Your brother is sure it is lunchtime, most days. You had it down as afternoons. Your dad, when somebody finally thinks to ask him, knows exactly, because he is the one at home when the carer arrives. This is information, not medical advice. It does not say how often visits should happen or how long they should last; that is not something this page can settle. What it offers is practical ways to get the times clear, starting with your parent.

Start with your parent's own picture of the week

Ask your parent how the visits fall across their week, and let them tell it their way. Their account is the one the rest of the family's picture should be built from. To keep up with when the visits fall, the family needs nothing more than your parent's word, or a phone call to the provider.

NICE's information for the public on home care in England suggests that a person might want to ask who their home care workers will be. Leave that question with your parent to put to the provider, and offer to sit in on the call if they would like company.

Ask the provider how visit times are set and confirmed

So that everyone delivering a person's care knows what they should be providing and when, NICE's home care guideline for England suggests providers consider giving one person the job of coordinating it. The same guideline for England recommends that providers agree with the people they support, and with unpaid carers such as family, what each side can expect.

With your parent, you can ask the provider how visit times are arranged, how a time gets confirmed, and who to speak to when a time needs to change.

Agree with your parent who can see the schedule

NICE's home care guideline for England recommends that the person receiving care can direct the way their home care is delivered, and that unpaid carers such as family can do so too if the person has involved them in their care.

Ask your parent who they would like to know the times, and whether that means everyone, one or two of you, or nobody for now. Respecting their independence and choices looks at keeping decisions like this one with your parent.

Settle who in the family asks the office, and when

Ask your parent whether they would rather go on dealing with the office themselves. Only if they want a go-between, agree with them which one of you takes questions about the visits to the provider, and passes the answers on to the others. Settle on when that person gets in touch. Sharing the load with siblings and family has more on dividing up jobs like this.

Expect times to move, and agree how you will hear

NICE's guideline on people's experience in adult social care in England gives changing the timing of services around religious festivals as one example of meeting a person's cultural and religious needs. The same NICE guideline for England counts a change to when visits are made among the changes to a person's care that should be negotiated with the person.

Agree, with your parent and the provider, how a change reaches your parent, and how it then reaches the relatives your parent has chosen. Both NICE documents are written for England, and how providers set, confirm and share visit times differs by where your parent lives.

Take anything about your parent's health or care needs to their doctor or care team

Questions about the visit times themselves can go to the provider along the route your family has agreed. Questions about your parent's health, or about the help they need, are worth bringing to their doctor or care team, and your parent sets how, and by whom, those questions are asked.